Wednesday, October 28, 2009

You Can Reset Your Sleep Cycle from Early Morning Waking to Jet Lag

Just as difficulty falling and staying asleep can indicate anxiety, a sudden change in your sleep pattern where you would normally sleep until 6 or 7 am, you now find yourself wide awake at 4 am, can indicate a possible underlying depression. If this happens to you, consult with your physician and relate your symptoms. Counseling, and sometimes, anti-depressants can greatly help relieve the symptoms.

There are actually times when less sleep is beneficial to an individual is suffering from depression. They can take advantage of the early morning waking and get out of bed and go for a walk or get active in some other way. However, when dealing with depression, always consult with a licensed mental health professional.

Jet lag is another culprit when it comes to sleep disruptions. When traveling through different time zones, it can take up to two weeks to adjust to the local time. One of the best ways to aid in resetting your sleep pattern is to get out of bed at your usual time no matter how much sleep you have had. You will find that within a short period, you will begin to get sleepy at your usual time. You may not feel very rested the first few nights, but over a brief period of time your body’s internal clock will reset itself. Some people have found the addition of melatonin to be helpful when to resetting their internal clocks. Melatonin can be found at your local health food store. Inquire at the store about its use.

For more information on Dr. Walton’s self-help for sleep, log onto You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free audio affirmations log onto his website at Press Release

Saturday, October 24, 2009

How to Release Anger and Calm Yourself Down… It’s Easier Then Your Think!

There are several ways to calm yourself down from anger.

1. You could do the hypnosis session on the Dr. Walton Anger Management Album.

2. You could do several minutes of the controlled deep breathing. You will find that on the album as well.

3. You could take a personal time out by walking away from the angering situation.

4. You could do a progressive muscle relaxation starting with relaxing your toes and moving up to the top of your head.

Another way to purge yourself of angry feelings is to do the opposite of your impulse. Do something nice for that person. Just the act of doing something nice is enough to release anger’s stranglehold. It also builds intimacy and a greater sense of trust with the ones you love. Never miss an opportunity to build trust and intimacy. You can do it even when you are angry.

Now, this brings us to the final point. That point is that no one else is responsible for your angry actions. All behavior that we engage in, including anger, first passes as a thought. We think our way into anger. We can also think our way out of it.

You alone make yourself angry and you alone control your own behavior. No one else is responsible for your anger but you. You have the power over your choices and actions and therefore you have the power over your anger.

Acting out our anger through yelling, slamming and hitting can have an adverse effect on your health. Angry behavior is very destructive to our important relationships. And, angry behavior can get us in trouble with the law.

When a couple continually acts out their anger on one another, their love begins to die. Instead of arguing, discuss the pros and cons of something. Negotiate for what you want, but don’t argue. It always takes two to argue. You can stop an argument by not engaging.

Instead of arguing, set a time in the future to discuss the issue when you have both calmed down. When you come back together, discuss the issue in a calm manner and be accepting of each other’s feelings, including the anger.

The spontaneous expression of anger is destructive. Express your angry feelings later when they are not so strong and the risk of impulsive behavior is reduced. Express yourself in a controlled and contained way. Reduce the demand that things must go your way. Then, acknowledge the other emotions that are behind the anger. You can actually use the situation as an opportunity to build a deeper sense of intimacy with your partner rather than using the acting out of anger to build greater distance.

Remember, no one else is responsible for your actions but for you. No one can make you think or feel anything and only you make yourself angry.

For more information on Dr. Walton’s anger self-help, log onto You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free sample audio affirmations log onto his website at Press Release

Monday, October 19, 2009

What to Do If You Are with Someone Who Is Angry

When you are feeling very angry, it is not the time to talk about your emotions. If you are standing when you are feeling angry, sit down, take several deep breaths inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Try counting backwards from twenty and get some distance between feelings and actions. When we are feeling angry and standing, we have an inner drive to approach and this could lead to a physical encounter. Go off, and cool down. However, let the other person know that you will be back. It shows that you have respect for the other person and that will count for a lot when you come back together to discuss the issue.

If you are with someone whose anger is escalating you can help the situation by telling them to “stop” and “calm down.” Get them to sit down if they are standing. If the other person is already out of control with their anger, just get out of their way and physically leave the situation. Do not engage them if they have a potential weapon in their hand.

Do not try to talk with each other about feelings when one person is very angry. This can lead to tracking. Tracking is when one person follows the other around and continues with the verbal attack. Tracking can lead to physical violence when the person being followed feels there’s no escape. We track because we have a fear of being abandoned. Do not track another person. Just allow them to go off and cool down.

Anger always has another emotion behind it. Often our anger is a front for fear, pain, hurt, shame or guilt or any combination of those. When angry, sit down quietly and ask yourself, “What is behind my anger?” What am I afraid of, what am I hurt by? What am I ashamed of? What is my guilt? Doing this can help you gain insight into your anger and allow you to deal with it more appropriately.

If you are yelling and hitting things or acting out of control in any other way, you are not expressing your feelings clearly. When we act out our feelings in place of verbalizing them in plain English, others interpret our actions from their own personal past experiences. For instance, if I tell you in a calm and controlled manner that I felt angry over your being late for dinner, I am clearly expressing my feelings in plain language that leaves little room for misinterpretation. However, if I begin to jump up and down and start yelling and hitting things because I am angry at your being late, you will become defensive and begin to shut down to what I am trying to say. You will move away emotionally. You will not be able to clearly understand my message because you are too busy trying to protect yourself.

We interpret actions from our reservoir of past experiences. By acting out anger through actions instead of clearly verbalizing it through words, our listeners are left to interpret our actions in their own way. We then have no control of their interpretation. It is like playing a dangerous game of charades.

When we act out our anger, we are in danger of feeding upon its energy and expanding it. Contrary to popular belief, acting out anger whether shouting or hitting something does not release us from anger. It actually amps up our angry feelings. Instead, it is better to do something that will calm us down.

It is important to quiet ourselves in the midst of our anger. When we are angry, we fill our heads with angry words and leave no space for listening to our inner voice. This is the reason why we are so off center when we are angry. We have no connection with our internal wisdom at those times.

For more information on Dr. Walton’s anger self-help, log onto You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free sample audio affirmations log onto his website at Press Release

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Getting Anger under Control Is Easier Than You Might Think!

To get a better handle on your anger, reduce the things you think you need to have to things you want to have. We become angry when we convince ourselves that the things we really want are things we need. There are very few things we need in our lives. Those needs that we do have relate directly to our immediate survival. Our daily upsets almost never relate directly to our immediate survival.

To reduce anger, reduce the demand that something must be your way to a request. Reducing it from a demand to a request will help to reduce the anger that you feel. For example, exchange “I must always get my way,” with “It would be nice if I got my way.” Notice the change in your attitude and demeanor when you exchange “must” with “I would like.”

Try asking yourself if the angering situation is going to really matter 100 years from now. What is your answer? Then ask yourself if you would rather be right or happy. Sometimes we prefer to be right, but usually we prefer to be happy. These are two techniques for reducing the demand that things go your way.

Never attempt to settle an argument when you are angry. Walk away from the situation, sit down and cool off. Deal with the situation later when you are rational. Feel with your heart, but act from your head.

Dealing with a situation when your anger is out of control can only lead to disaster. Never punish children when you are angry. Walk away, calm down, and then deal with the child. Punishing a child when you are angry only teaches the child to distrust you and it damages their sense of safety with you. It also teaches that inappropriate acting out is OK for settling issues. I want to reiterate that acting out behavior is not OK for settling issues.

For more information on anger self-help, log onto You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free sample audio affirmations log onto his website at Press Release

Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Healthy Expression of Anger... You Can Do It!

The healthy expression of anger is when we are able to verbalize our angry feelings in a calm and controlled assertive manner. It is important for us to own our feelings and clearly verbalize them. In order to assert your feelings clearly in a way that can be heard, follow these four steps rather than exploding with anger.

1) Describe the offending behavior.
2) Express how you feel about the offending behavior.
3) Explain the effects the offending behavior has on you.
4) Request a different behavior that you would prefer over the offending behavior.

An example would be: "When I find the knapsack on the table I become angry, because it leaves me no place to put my work down. Would you please place the knapsack in your bedroom instead?"

By doing this, the listener is more open to your request. You invite them in to be part of the solution. You confront with control.

Uncontrolled acting out of anger interferes with talking and listening. By speaking in a calm voice, others are better able to hear your feelings and hopefully respond to you in a similar and respectful way.

For more information on Dr. Walton’s anger self-help, log onto The Dr. Walton Series. You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free sample audio affirmations log onto his website at Press Release