The healthy expression of anger is when we are able to verbalize our angry feelings in a calm and controlled assertive manner. It is important for us to own our feelings and clearly verbalize them. In order to assert your feelings clearly in a way that can be heard, follow these four steps rather than exploding with anger.
1) Describe the offending behavior.
2) Express how you feel about the offending behavior.
3) Explain the effects the offending behavior has on you.
4) Request a different behavior that you would prefer over the offending behavior.
An example would be: "When I find the knapsack on the table I become angry, because it leaves me no place to put my work down. Would you please place the knapsack in your bedroom instead?"
By doing this, the listener is more open to your request. You invite them in to be part of the solution. You confront with control.
Uncontrolled acting out of anger interferes with talking and listening. By speaking in a calm voice, others are better able to hear your feelings and hopefully respond to you in a similar and respectful way.
For more information on Dr. Walton’s anger self-help, log onto The Dr. Walton Series. You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free sample audio affirmations log onto his website at LAtherapist.com. Press Release
1) Describe the offending behavior.
2) Express how you feel about the offending behavior.
3) Explain the effects the offending behavior has on you.
4) Request a different behavior that you would prefer over the offending behavior.
An example would be: "When I find the knapsack on the table I become angry, because it leaves me no place to put my work down. Would you please place the knapsack in your bedroom instead?"
By doing this, the listener is more open to your request. You invite them in to be part of the solution. You confront with control.
Uncontrolled acting out of anger interferes with talking and listening. By speaking in a calm voice, others are better able to hear your feelings and hopefully respond to you in a similar and respectful way.
For more information on Dr. Walton’s anger self-help, log onto The Dr. Walton Series. You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free sample audio affirmations log onto his website at LAtherapist.com. Press Release
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