Sunday, March 21, 2010

Empower Yourself through Assertiveness

Learning to make assertive responses will reduce the anxiety you may feel in dealing with others.  Assertive behavior does not push others around, deny their rights, or injure other people.

A daily record of your assertiveness will help you judge you progress over time and after a few weeks,you will have a lot of information about your progress.  Write down those situations you can handle easily and those which are troublesome.  Be aware of attitudes, behaviors and obstacles.

  • To promote equality in human relationships
  • To stand up for yourself
  • To express feelings honestly and comfortably
  • To exercise personal rights
  • To not deny the rights of others

  • Eye contact
  • Body posture - relative power is emphasized by standing or sitting
  • Distance/physical contact
  • Gestures
  • Facial expression - face should agree with the message
  • Voice tone
  • Fluency
  • Timing
  • Content - Take responsibility for your feelings, don't blame the other

  • Give yourself a positive soothing message before a difficult task.
  • When bothered by an unwanted thought, shout "STOP" and switch to more pleasant thoughts.  Also, X-out the thought and replace it with "I am willing to love and respect myself."
  •  X-out any negative self-attacking thoughts and replace them with the opposite positive thought.

For more information on assertiveness and to listen to free samples of Dr. Walton's self-help series log onto  you can also follow his daily tips on Twitter@LAtherapist.  For more information on Dr. Walton and to get free audio affirmations for self-empowerment, log onto his website at

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