Saturday, October 24, 2009

How to Release Anger and Calm Yourself Down… It’s Easier Then Your Think!

There are several ways to calm yourself down from anger.

1. You could do the hypnosis session on the Dr. Walton Anger Management Album.

2. You could do several minutes of the controlled deep breathing. You will find that on the album as well.

3. You could take a personal time out by walking away from the angering situation.

4. You could do a progressive muscle relaxation starting with relaxing your toes and moving up to the top of your head.

Another way to purge yourself of angry feelings is to do the opposite of your impulse. Do something nice for that person. Just the act of doing something nice is enough to release anger’s stranglehold. It also builds intimacy and a greater sense of trust with the ones you love. Never miss an opportunity to build trust and intimacy. You can do it even when you are angry.

Now, this brings us to the final point. That point is that no one else is responsible for your angry actions. All behavior that we engage in, including anger, first passes as a thought. We think our way into anger. We can also think our way out of it.

You alone make yourself angry and you alone control your own behavior. No one else is responsible for your anger but you. You have the power over your choices and actions and therefore you have the power over your anger.

Acting out our anger through yelling, slamming and hitting can have an adverse effect on your health. Angry behavior is very destructive to our important relationships. And, angry behavior can get us in trouble with the law.

When a couple continually acts out their anger on one another, their love begins to die. Instead of arguing, discuss the pros and cons of something. Negotiate for what you want, but don’t argue. It always takes two to argue. You can stop an argument by not engaging.

Instead of arguing, set a time in the future to discuss the issue when you have both calmed down. When you come back together, discuss the issue in a calm manner and be accepting of each other’s feelings, including the anger.

The spontaneous expression of anger is destructive. Express your angry feelings later when they are not so strong and the risk of impulsive behavior is reduced. Express yourself in a controlled and contained way. Reduce the demand that things must go your way. Then, acknowledge the other emotions that are behind the anger. You can actually use the situation as an opportunity to build a deeper sense of intimacy with your partner rather than using the acting out of anger to build greater distance.

Remember, no one else is responsible for your actions but for you. No one can make you think or feel anything and only you make yourself angry.

For more information on Dr. Walton’s anger self-help, log onto You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free sample audio affirmations log onto his website at Press Release

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