Learning to make assertive responses will reduce the anxiety you may feel in dealing with others. Assertive behavior does not push others around, deny their rights, or injure other people.
A daily record of your assertiveness will help you judge you progress over time and after a few weeks,you will have a lot of information about your progress. Write down those situations you can handle easily and those which are troublesome. Be aware of attitudes, behaviors and obstacles.
ELEMENTS OF ASSERTIVENESS
- To promote equality in human relationships
- To stand up for yourself
- To express feelings honestly and comfortably
- To exercise personal rights
- To not deny the rights of others
COMPONENTS OF ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
- Eye contact
- Body posture - relative power is emphasized by standing or sitting
- Distance/physical contact
- Gestures
- Facial expression - face should agree with the message
- Voice tone
- Fluency
- Timing
- Content - Take responsibility for your feelings, don't blame the other
HELP FOR HANDLING THOUGHTS
- Give yourself a positive soothing message before a difficult task.
- When bothered by an unwanted thought, shout "STOP" and switch to more pleasant thoughts. Also, X-out the thought and replace it with "I am willing to love and respect myself."
- X-out any negative self-attacking thoughts and replace them with the opposite positive thought.
For more information on assertiveness and to listen to free samples of Dr. Walton's self-help series log onto TheDrWaltonSeries.com. you can also follow his daily tips on Twitter@LAtherapist. For more information on Dr. Walton and to get free audio affirmations for self-empowerment, log onto his website at LAtherapist.com.
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