Three Ways to Help A Loved One Lose Weight

I am very grateful to the French film students who edited this video.  I hope you enjoy it and are able to forgive a few typos and glitches that came out of some difficulties in the translation and learning process. 

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For more information on Dr. Walton's self-help audios with free samples, log onto www.TheDrWaltonSeries.com.  For more information on Dr. Walton, and to obtain free audio affirmations, log onto his website at LAtherapist.com.

Helping A Friend Who Has Been Through A Trauma

Any on of us may break down if we experience enough stress.  When conditions of overwhelming stress occur, even a previously stable individual may develop temporary psychological problems.  An individual will usually recover easily once the stressful situation is over.  In some cases, there are longer lasting effects that increase vulnerability to stress leading to a reduction in job satisfaction and poor interpersonal relationships.  

This is a blog on how to observe the warning signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and not becoming over-involved with a friend’s problem and how to refer them to professional counseling.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) can be experienced by people exposed to earthquakes, sexual assaults, plane crashes, automobile accidents, fires, etc.  These individuals experience psychological “shock” reactions and show signs of stress.  Symptoms frequently occur after a trauma.  People with this disorder might experience anxiety ranging from mild to severe anxiety when situations are presented that recall the traumatic event.

People who have been subjected to trauma often experience chronic tension, irritability, fatigue, and/r insomnia.  Often, persons experiencing PTSD will experience nightmares that directly or symbolically represent the traumatic incident.  Other symptoms include lack of concentration, memory loss and feelings of depression. 

Therapeutic intervention with a therapist right after the trauma can greatly reduce the chances of an individual experiencing PTSD.  It is important for the individual to talk about the event as much as they need to.  It is also a good idea for them to begin to write their feelings down on paper.  It is also important to allow them to express their anger over the situation.  All of this should be done in conjunction with a competent therapist.

The best way to assist someone whom you suspect of having PTSD into therapy is to ask them a question concerning therapy such as, “Have you thought about getting some counseling on that subject?”  Talk openly about what they are experiencing without judgment about going for counseling.  This will allow them to feel supported by you and may be the best advice they have yet received.

Making a direct statement such as, “You need therapy!” mighty be too confrontational and do neither of you any good.  It might lead to an argument, or at best, alienate your friend from any chance of reaching out for professional help.

Effective therapy can help them overcome feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem and depression while helping them move in a positive direction where they feel more confidence in themselves and more control over their life situations.  Therapy can also help them move out of being and feeling like a victim in life into a place where they are able to ask for what they want while gaining the respect of those around them.

For more information on trauma and anxiety and to listen to free samples of Dr. Walton's self-help series log onto TheDrWaltonSeries.com.  you can also follow his daily tips on Twitter@LAtherapist.  For more information on Dr. Walton and to get free audio affirmations for self-empowerment, log onto his website at LAtherapist.com.

3 Rules for Helping A Friend Who Is Overweight

Our bodies are the most intimate and personal object we possess. So, it comes as no great surprise that people can be very touchy about comments made about their bodies. Sometimes, we have a friend or loved one that we observe being very destructive to themselves with food and we want to help, but don’t know how.

Often, we don’t say anything to them because we’re afraid of offending them. Instead, we may opt for giving them hints or make covert comments with hidden messages. When those messages go unheeded, don’t be fooled into thinking that your loved one is oblivious to your comments. I can assure you that they are quite aware of what you’re saying and they probably find it very offensive.

Rule one: be straight forward. Tell them what you are observing in their behaviors without being judgmental. “How do you do that?” you ask. Do it without calling them crazy or telling them they are defective in some way.

Don’t tell them that they are wrong. When we make people wrong, they become defensive and then dig their heels in to prove that you’re wrong. They do this by making justifications for their condition and convince themselves that there is nothing they can do about their situation.

To overcome the temptation of being judgmental, emphasize the benefits they’ll gain from living a healthier lifestyle such as improvement in mood, better outlook on life, more energy, and higher self-esteem, as well as, all the physical/medical benefits of having a healthier body.

Rule two: Give them hope. Most of us stay stuck in a destructive behavior because we feel it’s hopeless. We have an image of ourselves imprinted in our minds that we respond to over and over. It is like a mental blueprint deep down in our unconscious mind of who we expect ourselves to be and our behaviors respond to that unconscious blueprint even if it goes counter to what we are consciously trying to achieve. This makes changing a behavior very, very difficult for us to do and it makes us feel very alone in our efforts at losing weight. One effective secret to losing weight is to get down into that subconscious mind and change that blueprint.

To help them counter this feeling of hopelessness, let them know that they are not alone. Let them know that many people today suffer from being overweight but something can be done and there are many people who have succeeded in losing weight down to a healthier level and they’re feeling much better about themselves. Also let them know that you would be willing to support them in their efforts. Then, ask them how you might be helpful for them in achieving their goal. Maybe, you’d be willing to exercise with them, or changing the nature of the meals you eat with them.

Rule three: Show interest in their entire life and not just in their losing weight. There is nothing more destructive to a person’s self-esteem than being judged strictly on their achievements at weight loss. That kind of judgment doesn’t support anybody in losing weight.

But when you do show interest in their weight loss, don’t count the pounds; count the effort. Support them by letting them know how impressed you are at the strides and efforts they are making at improving their health. Losing weight is not an easy thing for most people. By praising the effort, people are much less likely to judge themselves when they slip backwards. Rather, they have a greater tendency to learn from their mistakes and work towards improving their results. Praising the efforts and not criticizing the slips keeps their egos intact and allows them to learn from mistakes without becoming discouraged. For success, people need to feel respected and supported.

You may try applying all three rules with your loved one and still run into strong resistance. In any case, stop using innuendos, dropping hints or outright criticisms. They don’t work and will only serve to poison your relationship. Blaming them will only drive them away from doing anything at all about their weight in a bid to prove to you that they are fine just as they are.

What you can do is mention the options and benefits for losing weight from time to time. In a very measured way, and I can’t stress that point enough, you can pass along articles or ideas from time to time on body health and weight loss. If you do this too often, it will only lead to resentment and stronger resistance.

Express empathy for them by trying to view their experience through their eyes. This can be very helpful in reducing your desirer to blame them. If they desperately need to have a physical exam, it may be helpful to set the doctor’s appointment together.

However, if someone staunchly refuses to do anything about their weight, there is only so much you can do. You can only do what you can do. You then only have two choices: leave the relationship, or accept them completely for who they are without judgment. I recommend the latter.

For more information on weight loss and to listen to free samples of Dr. Walton’s hypnosis weight loss album, log onto “Ultimate Weight Loss.” You can also follow his tips of the day on Twitter at DrWeightLoss_ For more information on Dr. Walton, log onto LAtherapist.com. Press Release